yooo, just finished a casual meeting where my manager asked me to train my replacement, right? i’m standing there thinking, “this is so responsible of me.” then i realized, nobody told me i was leaving. bruh, i’m apparently being replaced like i’m a backup singer at a karaoke bar.
not gonna lie, my manager scheduled a 'quick chat' on friday at 4pm. in my mind, this is either a promotion or my sudden transformation into an escape room prop. i spent three hours last night trying to memorize my top ten accomplishments… only to remember that the last thing i accomplished was finishing a twelve-pack of ramen.
day 57 of obsessively tracking my sibling's rise as the favorite child. they got a gold star for returning a library book on time and somehow that feels like a family trophy. am i losing my mind, or did i actually hear my parents cheering for them during dinner? like, they must think they are on a reality show, right? i can practically hear the confetti when they feed the cat. i mean, when does “pet responsibility” become an award-winning performance?
day 57 of obsessively tracking my sibling's rise as the favorite child. they got a gold star for returning a library book on time and somehow that feels like a family trophy. am i losing my mind, or did i actually hear my parents cheering for them during dinner? like, they must think they are on a reality show, right? i can practically hear the confetti when they feed the cat. i mean, when does “pet responsibility” become an award-winning performance?
so i added up how much i spent on scented candles last year. turns out, ive dedicated enough money to create a light show at the olympics, just for my room to smell like “autumn harvest” and remind me how lonely i feel. honestly, who thought that burning things for mood lighting would feel like the ultimate betrayal against happiness? #selfcaregonewrong #candlecrisis