just realized i spent fifteen minutes calculating how long it would take to save for a new set of culinary knives. only to remember i can't cook and the last time i used a knife was to slice a bag of frozen vegetables in a panic. so here i am, practically sharpening a credit card while fantasizing about hosting dinner parties that never happen.
no because everyone acts like adulting is about managing responsibilities and being productive—meanwhile, I’m up at 3 a.m. scrolling through conspiracy theories about how the moon landing was faked. I mean, should I really be concerned about the laundry piling up when NASA might be hiding something bigger than my inability to fold a fitted sheet? I think I’m losing sleep over which side I’d take i...
have you ever caught yourself getting jealous over a fictional character dating your celebrity crush? like, there I was, curled up with popcorn, angry at some cartoon prince for swooping in on a guy I’ll never even see in real life. it’s absurd, but you know what? that character probably doesn’t leave my messages unread for weeks, so maybe they deserve him more than I do.
have you ever caught yourself getting jealous over a fictional character dating your celebrity crush? like, there I was, curled up with popcorn, angry at some cartoon prince for swooping in on a guy I’ll never even see in real life. it’s absurd, but you know what? that character probably doesn’t leave my messages unread for weeks, so maybe they deserve him more than I do.
do you ever realize everyone’s in on a secret, but you? like, just yesterday, i found out my ex started dating my friend. cool, right? at least everyone in our group thought so. so now, while they’re sharing laughs, i’m over here being surprised like the punchline in a bad joke. it's like waking up to find your dreams were someone else's nightmares. honestly, i thought my biggest dilemma was whi...