i just spent thirty minutes crafting a heartfelt essay about my existential crisis during the iowa vs usc game, only for my friend to respond with a single crying emoji. it felt like the emotional equivalent of ordering a gourmet meal and getting served a single green olive. now i’m questioning my life choices while reminding myself that if i can live through another day in the trenches of unfulfi...
literally just thinking about how people probably like the version of me that knows sports stats better than their significant others. actually, I'm pretty sure they'd cheer louder for the Illini winning than for me surviving another week of my mundane life. but hey, if I pretend I'm a sports expert and drop names like they matter, I bet nobody would notice when I vanish into the void of my own di...
i sometimes wonder if my parents' love for my sibling is actually a sitcom plot. is this why i still find myself waiting by the phone, like i'm expecting them to call and tell me i won the lottery, or at least that they love me too? it’s funny, though, because their affection is like an open secret—the kind that has me wondering if i should just send them a formal letter asking for an upgrade to ‘favorite child,’ or if that would make me the villain in my own family drama.
i sometimes wonder if my parents' love for my sibling is actually a sitcom plot. is this why i still find myself waiting by the phone, like i'm expecting them to call and tell me i won the lottery, or at least that they love me too? it’s funny, though, because their affection is like an open secret—the kind that has me wondering if i should just send them a formal letter asking for an upgrade to ‘favorite child,’ or if that would make me the villain in my own family drama.
i just realized my 'best friend' only texts when they need my Netflix password or want to borrow a random household item. like, at this point, i might as well add a "for rental inquiries, text here" section to my bio. honestly, i should just start charging a subscription fee for my availability. #alwaysavailable #friendswhoarefreebies