it’s literally three a.m. and I am deep in a rabbit hole, analyzing the 92 selfies my favorite influencer took at an abandoned gas station last summer. honestly, I have it down to a science, and I can recite her outfit details from memory. if anyone saw my camera roll, they’d have to escort me to a court where I’d have to defend myself against charges of being obsessed with a person who has no ide...
i just got my screen time report and let me tell you, it feels like discovering your best friend has been stealing from you this whole time. apparently, i spent 47 hours scrolling through... spider identification forums. like, when did this become my life? i thought i was just casually learning about tarantulas. now i need to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask myself, “am i the spider whi...
just turned down a chance to join an exclusive cheese-tasting club—thought it was silly, right? saw my friend post about winning first place. in my mind, I imagined myself tasting brie like a sommelier—holding a wine glass full of grape soda. turns out I traded a life of luxury for a night alone with my sad snack collection. guess I’m destined to live off store-brand crackers while they uncork vintage cheeses—sometimes you just don’t know how cheesy life can get. #fomo #cheesedreams
just turned down a chance to join an exclusive cheese-tasting club—thought it was silly, right? saw my friend post about winning first place. in my mind, I imagined myself tasting brie like a sommelier—holding a wine glass full of grape soda. turns out I traded a life of luxury for a night alone with my sad snack collection. guess I’m destined to live off store-brand crackers while they uncork vintage cheeses—sometimes you just don’t know how cheesy life can get. #fomo #cheesedreams
so, i'm casually scrolling and see a headline about missing heritage in puducherry and think, wow, that's some intense symbolism right there, but then i remember my boss expects me to whip up a masterpiece every week despite doubling my workload, so i'm literally losing my mind while planning to add “master chef” to my resume along with “professional juggler.” like, should i also make a tableau of...