not gonna lie, i’ve been wearing the same mismatched socks for three weeks straight. it started as a quirky rebellion against the laundry, and now i’m halfway to believing they're some sort of good luck charm. at this point, my neighbors think i'm some kind of sock-wearing witch and last week a pigeon tried to mate with my foot. i’m not sure whether to wash them or start charging rent.
it's not that i’m concerned about my camera roll, it’s just that my latest screenshots include elaborate CUET preparation charts mixed with my overly dramatic reactions to last week's romantic disaster. I could explain the charts to a court, but the facepalm selfies with “why am I like this” written across them? yeah, those might not hold up under cross-examination. at this point, if admissions to...
last night, I caught myself almost apologizing to my vacuum cleaner for leaving crumbs on the floor. I mean, it literally does not have feelings, but here I am, practically begging for its forgiveness while my love life is crumbling faster than the dust bunnies I ignore. like, how did I go from being the fun friend to someone who contemplates the emotional state of an appliance? I really need to make a life decision between leaving my toxic relationship or becoming the vacuum whisperer.
last night, I caught myself almost apologizing to my vacuum cleaner for leaving crumbs on the floor. I mean, it literally does not have feelings, but here I am, practically begging for its forgiveness while my love life is crumbling faster than the dust bunnies I ignore. like, how did I go from being the fun friend to someone who contemplates the emotional state of an appliance? I really need to make a life decision between leaving my toxic relationship or becoming the vacuum whisperer.
ever lie about something so ridiculous that it spirals out of control? like, I told a friend I was super into gardening, even though the only plant I own is a succulent I named "Bob" after a cartoon character. now I literally find myself watching YouTube tutorials on how to grow tomatoes, and I'm starting to think I should get a greenhouse. at this point, I'm just one dead plant away from a full-b...