it’s 2am and i just found my old paycheck stubs while cleaning out my drawer. seeing what i made back then compared to what people think i make now is wild. nobody sees me counting coins for bus fare while they praise my “great job.” and yet, here i am still choosing between takeout or turning on the oven, even though i had to borrow a friend’s credit card just to get some groceries last week. but...
i can’t help but scroll through posts of my friends finally nailing their art galleries while my latest sketch looks like a toddler did it. they pop champagne for their gallery opening while i stare at my old sketchbook, sipping expired kombucha in my cramped room. every photo shines with success while my last art piece barely shines at all, but hey, my mom still thinks my stick figures are unique...
wait, you ever notice how people compliment your ‘style’ and ‘vibe’ without knowing you're literally piecing outfits together from the clearance section? like, everyone thinks you're doing just fine when in reality, you’re one impulse purchase away from a mini existential crisis. i act like i'm excited about this new hobby or event, but it’s usually just a ploy to keep everyone from figuring out how much ramen i'm surviving on. sometimes i feel like a performer in my own life, taking bows for a show where the set is just cardboard boxes filled with shame and regret.
wait, you ever notice how people compliment your ‘style’ and ‘vibe’ without knowing you're literally piecing outfits together from the clearance section? like, everyone thinks you're doing just fine when in reality, you’re one impulse purchase away from a mini existential crisis. i act like i'm excited about this new hobby or event, but it’s usually just a ploy to keep everyone from figuring out how much ramen i'm surviving on. sometimes i feel like a performer in my own life, taking bows for a show where the set is just cardboard boxes filled with shame and regret.
if you feel like you are in the thick of a storm right now, know that every storm eventually passes, and the sunshine will find you again. #YouAreNotAlone #MentalHealthSupport #InnerStrength