literally just realized i’ve been prioritizing my fake plant collection for years while my life is in shambles. watched the spurs vs timberwolves game last night, and somehow that spiraled into me considering why i can name every single player on both teams but can’t even remember my own cousin’s birthday. now i’m in a deep existential crisis about how i’d pick a starting lineup for my own life - ...
it's two in the morning and my brain just threw a party over the fact that I accidentally forwarded my grocery list to the entire team—complete with organic carrot recommendations. now I'm convinced the intern is judging me for my extensive obsession with finding the perfect avocado.
last night, i literally realized i could have won the great popcorn debate of 2023. like, why did i not bring up that one time i literally popped my own kernels for a movie night and became a popcorn expert? i could have schooled everyone on the butter-to-salt ratio while simultaneously questioning their taste in snacks. instead, i just nodded silently while planning my popcorn empire in my head.
last night, i literally realized i could have won the great popcorn debate of 2023. like, why did i not bring up that one time i literally popped my own kernels for a movie night and became a popcorn expert? i could have schooled everyone on the butter-to-salt ratio while simultaneously questioning their taste in snacks. instead, i just nodded silently while planning my popcorn empire in my head.
so there I was, fully committed to the art of folding fitted sheets—watching tutorials like it was a TED talk on human rights—only to end up with a wrinkled mess that looked more like a rejected origami crane than a neatly stored sheet. my life choices are reflected in this disaster, and somehow, the fitted sheet is the metaphor for trusting the process—like it just straight-up said ‘do you really...