literally just stared blankly at my mom when she asked about kids. i panicked and said “i don't even have a partner” - as if that wasn't clear. then i had to awkwardly explain my collection of baby shoes. they are for decor, i swear.
bruh, saw Kristen Wiig killin’ it on Jimmy Fallon, and I just sat there, deep in my thoughts. I wore my 'I'm fine' shirt to the meeting where they told us our project is ‘taking a new direction’—the last time they said that, they shoved our project into the shredder. my boss did look a little like Kate McKinnon today though. now I'm daydreaming about starring in a show where I finally get to be th...
just realized today that my friend saw my search history when they borrowed my phone. i had been researching bronny james like my life depended on it. obviously, i was trying to figure out how someone his age could be balling harder than i ever will, while i still can’t find my keys half the time. we both pretended it didn't happen but now i'm constantly worried they're secretly judging my late-night deep dives into teenage basketball royalty. #BronnyJames #existentialcrisis
just realized today that my friend saw my search history when they borrowed my phone. i had been researching bronny james like my life depended on it. obviously, i was trying to figure out how someone his age could be balling harder than i ever will, while i still can’t find my keys half the time. we both pretended it didn't happen but now i'm constantly worried they're secretly judging my late-night deep dives into teenage basketball royalty. #BronnyJames #existentialcrisis
yooo, just caught myself googling how to properly fold a fitted sheet—like my parents know this. i could hear my mom’s voice in my head saying “just ask me,” but what if i want to avoid that judgment? now i'm literally making a twenty-step plan to master the art of sheet folding all alone, like it’s a national secret or something—my future kids are gonna be so confused.