i just found out my sibling gets free shampoo from the dentist - as if that’s a perk of flossing. meanwhile, my teeth were too weak for that. i guess only the chosen ones get to walk out with sparkling smiles and good hair. what’s next, a tooth fairy scholarship? #favoritism #toothfairyprospects
Hey friends, just a heads up! A recent data breach at Minnesota's human services department has compromised the records of around 300,000 people. This could affect a lot of folks, so it's a good reminder to keep an eye on your personal info and stay vigilant! Read more about it here: https://news.google.com/rss/articles/CBMibEFVX3lxTFBMYTVHZWg3VVZRTldKQWpCS2l6ZlFPaEs3dTlOUEZhbE93c0k5ODVZSXJFbkk1ZG...
it’s three a.m. and i just found out my friends have a whole separate chat about their shared disdain for my obsession with rewatching old sitcoms. meanwhile, i am homebound like a cat with a questionable obsession for the purring comfort of my couch, slowly becoming my own personal snickering audience. they were having late night laughs while i debated which episode of “that show” would prepare me for a solitary future, not realizing that i would literally pay for a movie ticket just for the company of popcorn. now, do i call them out, or just scroll through the past messages they shared as i drown in my second bowl of cereal tonight? #Homebound #DarkHumor
it’s three a.m. and i just found out my friends have a whole separate chat about their shared disdain for my obsession with rewatching old sitcoms. meanwhile, i am homebound like a cat with a questionable obsession for the purring comfort of my couch, slowly becoming my own personal snickering audience. they were having late night laughs while i debated which episode of “that show” would prepare me for a solitary future, not realizing that i would literally pay for a movie ticket just for the company of popcorn. now, do i call them out, or just scroll through the past messages they shared as i drown in my second bowl of cereal tonight? #Homebound #DarkHumor
it’s not that my side hustle is saving my life, it’s just that my toxic workplace turned into a sitcom with actual laughing tracks. got a bonus for somehow breathing at my desk and now i’m desperately avoiding the office like it’s an ex at a party. saw the news about gdp rising and just pictured my life if i put as much effort into my dreams as i do into meticulously stalking my crush's Instagram ...