no because i just sent a recipe for banana bread to the entire group chat instead of my neighbor who asked for it. literally thought they would find my detailed notes on moisture levels HILARIOUS. now they all think i am running a baked goods empire and i do not know how to explain that my biggest accomplishment is getting out of bed today.
just realized that my spirit animal is will levis' ex. while she’s thriving on a beach in a bikini, i’m stuck in my room using scented candles to try and manifest a work-life balance that hates me. why am i lowkey planning a hot girl summer while getting ghosted by my own dreams? honestly, it feels like we are both on a timeline to absolute nowhere. #WillLevis #relatable
it's not that i'm obsessed, it's just... i stumbled upon these old texts from my last job—like when we actually had energy and thought maybe, just maybe, we could *change the world* or something. i found this one from my boss, rambling about making it big—like we were some sort of tech disruptors, probably brainstorming a way to sell lemonade to larry ellison himself. the reality? i barely get out of bed to make a sandwich these days. can you believe that? one moment you’re charting your destiny, the next you’re trying to locate that 50 cent coin that rolled under the couch. #LarryEllison #existentialcrisis
it's not that i'm obsessed, it's just... i stumbled upon these old texts from my last job—like when we actually had energy and thought maybe, just maybe, we could *change the world* or something. i found this one from my boss, rambling about making it big—like we were some sort of tech disruptors, probably brainstorming a way to sell lemonade to larry ellison himself. the reality? i barely get out of bed to make a sandwich these days. can you believe that? one moment you’re charting your destiny, the next you’re trying to locate that 50 cent coin that rolled under the couch. #LarryEllison #existentialcrisis
last night, i found myself googling 'most unusual hobbies' after feeling low-key uninspired by life—think making miniature furniture or training pigeons. then it hit me—what if my real hobby is creating dramatic scenarios in my mind, like a soap opera, but just for myself, full of HIGH STAKES and RIDICULOUS CLIFFHANGERS, like what if i got injured while trying to parallel park my imaginary car on ...