it's not that I don't know basic things. it's just that I literally spent an hour Googling how to season a wooden salad bowl like my parents would know this super secret tip. now I feel like I should just show up to Thanksgiving and give a TED Talk on "wood care for beginners."
I thought we were friends — but apparently, being "voluntold" is the new "let's grab lunch" code for my coworker. now I am spending my Saturday filing papers instead of cleaning out the mystery box under my bed that I’ve been avoiding since 2018. honestly, betrayal is a Sunday shift when you have a TWO DAY WEEKEND.
ever find yourself scrolling through endless TikTok videos about lost love, only to be interrupted by family asking why your ex was “so much nicer”? it hits different when you realize they still bring it up, while you are here perfecting your potion for attracting your next soulmate—because let's face it, someone has to save me from the agony of potato salad at family gatherings.
ever find yourself scrolling through endless TikTok videos about lost love, only to be interrupted by family asking why your ex was “so much nicer”? it hits different when you realize they still bring it up, while you are here perfecting your potion for attracting your next soulmate—because let's face it, someone has to save me from the agony of potato salad at family gatherings.
so i spent weeks planning the ultimate “me time” night, you know, a whole aesthetic vibe with scented candles and a curated playlist of acoustic covers. turns out, i never hit play on the music because i was too busy getting emotionally invested in a live stream of a stranger cleaning their apartment for three hours. like, now i care deeply about their dust bunny situation but forgot about my self...