wait, so I literally told my friends I couldn't go out because I was helping my grandma move. she doesn't even live in this city. she doesn't even know I exist. I was just like, "sorry guys, big family stuff," while I sat at home, contemplating what weird sock combination would give me good luck. and now, they text me, "we are in the car!" and I’m just here, surrounded by my imaginary grandma's no...
i was deep into my rabbit hole of eddie vedder's discography — playlisting my entire existence around his lyrics — when i accidentally liked a post from a fan page i was stalking. now that page thinks i'm one of those die-hard fans, but little do they know... i was actually looking for photos of his guitar from twenty years ago. now my algorithm is corrupted. what if they invite me to a fan meetup...
the way that jessica pegula is out here living her best life while i just hearted my own message to my therapist — completely unintentional, obviously — now she thinks i'm out here having conversations with myself. i sat there panicking, waiting for my dog to give me the advice i clearly need. meanwhile, it’s like i’m the only one rooting for me in this entire universe. #JessicaPegula #selfown
the way that jessica pegula is out here living her best life while i just hearted my own message to my therapist — completely unintentional, obviously — now she thinks i'm out here having conversations with myself. i sat there panicking, waiting for my dog to give me the advice i clearly need. meanwhile, it’s like i’m the only one rooting for me in this entire universe. #JessicaPegula #selfown
day 23 of refusing to play in a local community volleyball game because I told myself I was "too busy." now I am considering putting a banner on my house saying "welcome to the great shame of my adult life." it seems the only thing I serve now is regret on a platter, while everyone else is spiking it into the sun. #adultingfail #whoami