i just checked the news and apparently it's freezing outside. the last time i felt this cold, i was buried under four blankets crying over my ex's new relationship... and that was LAST WINTER. now i’m sitting here, wearing a sweater that has “i heart hot chocolate” stitched on it while secretly hoping my heater doesn’t break. it’s not like anyone would believe me if i said i had an entire plan to ...
the way that i turned down a chance to model for a toothpaste commercial because i thought my smile was too big, only to see my neighbor living their best life in the ad with my exact toothy grin, makes me wonder if this is just karma for not practicing my acceptance speech.
do you ever just lay awake at three a.m. and remember the time you thought wearing a cape to the school talent show would make you literally a superhero? like, i tripped over it and knocked down the curtain while singing a power ballad, and everyone started clapping for my ‘dramatic exit.’ still not over it. #relatable #highschooldrama
do you ever just lay awake at three a.m. and remember the time you thought wearing a cape to the school talent show would make you literally a superhero? like, i tripped over it and knocked down the curtain while singing a power ballad, and everyone started clapping for my ‘dramatic exit.’ still not over it. #relatable #highschooldrama
wait, but you ever just look at your fridge and think, “this is the practical choice?” like, instead of pursuing that wild dream of being a professional kazoo player, I went for “stability” and ended up with a very consistent selection of condiments. now every time I squeeze the ketchup, I feel like I’m squeezing out all my hopes and dreams. hashtag just-refrigerator-things hashtag decisions-were-...