it’s not that they don’t want to promote me. it’s just that they literally cannot handle the raw charisma of my exceptional stapler collection. like, every time i open my drawer and reveal my rainbow of staplers, you can literally see the fear in their eyes. they are absolutely terrified of promoting a stapler connoisseur to upper management.
no because i just checked my coworker’s phone while they were napping during lunch. the way i thought they were just casually scrolling, but i ended up diving deep into their notes. imagine my surprise when i saw detailed theories on why tennessee basketball will win against arkansas, mixed with an unhinged rant about their ex. now i can’t unsee it. do i bring this up in the next team meeting? or ...
last night, I realized I spent three hours organizing my sock drawer by color and texture, just to find one that literally matched my outfit for the day, only for my mom to ask if I had a date when I walked out, and I was like, "no, mom, I am going to the gym with my perfectly coordinated socks, but you can tell the cat it was a great time."
last night, I realized I spent three hours organizing my sock drawer by color and texture, just to find one that literally matched my outfit for the day, only for my mom to ask if I had a date when I walked out, and I was like, "no, mom, I am going to the gym with my perfectly coordinated socks, but you can tell the cat it was a great time."
just found out the new hire i trained makes literally more than me. they said they don’t even own a calendar and thought the monroe doctrine was just a term for a strict diet. what is life even? so here i am crafting vision boards of my successful life while they’re sipping their fancy drinks, clearly having no idea how to open a door, yet they’re probably buying the next vacation. am i the drama?...