no because the way that my hobby of collecting vintage doorknobs has now paid for my electric bill, I’m starting to think I might be one quirky auction away from being a full-time doorknob mogul. like, when did this happen? I went from "what a weird collection" to "let’s not talk about the odd $500 profit I made on a rusted brass knob with a sweet backstory." imagine my coworkers trying to take me...
literally just unsent a message about how their plant has more followers than me and now they know—like do I start caring for my self-esteem or the monstera? because I'm realizing those lush leaves probably know more about my personal life than I do—this is a crisis and I might need to start consulting their Instagram for advice.
wait, so I just found out my coworker didn’t break up with their ex and they’ve been flirting with me this whole time. it’s like going for a game-winning catch in cricket only to find out you were playing a T-ball team made of five-year-olds. all this while I was convinced we were on our way to the next big thing. now I’m just a backup player for their old squad. #YesterdayCricketMatch #PlotTwist
wait, so I just found out my coworker didn’t break up with their ex and they’ve been flirting with me this whole time. it’s like going for a game-winning catch in cricket only to find out you were playing a T-ball team made of five-year-olds. all this while I was convinced we were on our way to the next big thing. now I’m just a backup player for their old squad. #YesterdayCricketMatch #PlotTwist
have you ever stared into your fridge at three AM, wondering if the moldy jar of pickles is a metaphor for your life choices? because honestly, my dinner has gone from gourmet meals to just staring at my sad leftovers, trying to convince myself that a spoonful of expired salsa is... well, I don’t know, avant-garde cuisine? only to remember that the real punchline is that I still haven’t gotten a s...