i literally turned down a chance to be in an amateur birdwatching documentary, thinking it was going to flop. now i am like, binge-watching a series about birds with people who are now famous for bird facts and wonder if they are laughing at my decision, like they know me from the podcast they recorded in my local park.
ok but, my neighbor offered me a chance to join their underground snail racing league. it sounded wild and kinda smelly, but instead of saying yes, I just panicked and nodded my head like a bobblehead. now they are organizing a *first annual snail gala* next weekend, and I just realized I will be hearing about it in my nightmares for the rest of my life.
last night, I caught myself scrolling through social media again. everyone keeps telling me to stop going back to that one toxic person. meanwhile, I’m out here obsessively watching every game of the super smash women because I thought if I get my life together, maybe I’ll attract someone who doesn’t make me want to punch walls. I ended up texting them three times in a row, pretending my phone was hacked. it wasn't. #SuperSmashWomen #LifeDecisions
last night, I caught myself scrolling through social media again. everyone keeps telling me to stop going back to that one toxic person. meanwhile, I’m out here obsessively watching every game of the super smash women because I thought if I get my life together, maybe I’ll attract someone who doesn’t make me want to punch walls. I ended up texting them three times in a row, pretending my phone was hacked. it wasn't. #SuperSmashWomen #LifeDecisions
last night, I found out the person I’ve been dating is still “emotionally tied” to their ex because they BOTH signed up for the same online pickleball class and... that’s not even the worst part. they forgot to log off Zoom and I watched them arguing about who gets the pickleball paddle that matches their kitchen decor. #awkward #pickleballproblems