just got assigned to mentor someone in miniature diorama building and honestly, i have literally never even made a snow globe. they asked me what kind of glue to use, and i panicked, suggested hot glue, then realized i actually use it for fixing my life choices. so now i'm Googling "how to build a forest in a shoebox" like it’s a life skill i needed for a college application.
it's not that i can't pay rent. it's just that my paycheck arrives after my current existential crisis, which is great timing because my boss is still on the hunt for a "team player." meanwhile, the only team i'm part of is the "lyon fc fan club" i joined during my lunch break, staring at the wall while contemplating my life choices. so here i am, ready for a funeral—dressed to the nines—but the o...
honestly, just found out my friends think i’m like, a failed magician because i once tried to pull a rabbit out of my hat during karaoke. now i’m spiraling as i realize they’re right. meanwhile, christian mccaffrey's wife is slaying in her magazine shoot, and here i am just wishing i could magically make my life appear a little less tragic. #ChristianMccaffreyWife #selfreflection
honestly, just found out my friends think i’m like, a failed magician because i once tried to pull a rabbit out of my hat during karaoke. now i’m spiraling as i realize they’re right. meanwhile, christian mccaffrey's wife is slaying in her magazine shoot, and here i am just wishing i could magically make my life appear a little less tragic. #ChristianMccaffreyWife #selfreflection
its three in the morning and i just realized i could've been a renowned taxidermist. instead, i’m scrolling through old memes while contemplating my life choices. imagine a world where terry bradshaw and i were colleagues, taxidermy legends, crafting glorious displays of retired roadkill. i might’ve had my own reality show by now, instead of just watching reality TV while clutching my blanket. #Te...