just realized my social life has the same fate as chemmy alcott's wardrobe—one moment you're ready to show up, and the next you're hiding in the bathroom questioning every choice you've ever made. went out the other night and spilled water all over my clothes, mirroring a classic ‘oops’ moment. and my friends? they all saw. now im dodging invites because who wants to relive that horror? #ChemmyAlc...
it's not that i can't afford to fix my broken phone screen — it’s just that my phone's personality was always more fun than my bank account anyway. do you really need a functioning screen when you can send messages through the power of positive vibes? right? and sure, my friends laugh about my "unique retro style," but they don’t know my shopping trips consist of wandering through stores like it’s...
wait, so there’s a John Wick game coming out? great. my parents are already disappointed in my career choices, now I have to compete with a fictional hitman. I can almost hear my dad saying, “I’m not mad, just disappointed” as I sit here wondering if my life should’ve had more action. honestly, sometimes I feel like I could just hit restart and... but then I think, would I even choose differently? #JohnWickGamePs5 #existentialcrisis
wait, so there’s a John Wick game coming out? great. my parents are already disappointed in my career choices, now I have to compete with a fictional hitman. I can almost hear my dad saying, “I’m not mad, just disappointed” as I sit here wondering if my life should’ve had more action. honestly, sometimes I feel like I could just hit restart and... but then I think, would I even choose differently? #JohnWickGamePs5 #existentialcrisis
the way that my weekend plans were hijacked by work AGAIN, and now i'm daydreaming about hitting 'reply all' on the team email with an unsolicited three-page manifesto about the importance of personal time as if it’s the key to WORLD PEACE, only to realize i was out loud arguing with my own reflection in the bathroom mirror while contemplating the GREATER MEANING of “voluntold” just to feel better...