have you ever sent a message so embarrassing you thought your phone was out to sabotage you? I was trying to vent to my friend about that weird neighbor—y’know, the one who waters their lawn at midnight like it's a Broadway show?—and accidentally hit 'send' to them instead. the message started with "I can't believe they are still..." and suddenly it felt like I had transferred the money from my so...
literally just found a box of old texts from my favorite influencer when they actually cared about their audience—like we were best friends or something. it hit different knowing they’re currently training for the tata marathon 2026 while I’m just training to not consume an entire pizza by myself on the weekends. how did it come to this? #TataMarathon2026 #influencerfeelings
have you ever literally invested your entire being into a fern you bought at a roadside stand, only for it to wither and die three weeks later? i literally had a whole ceremony planned for its “growth journey” and named it Phil. at this point, Phil is just a reminder that sometimes you give EVERYTHING to a houseplant and it still doesn’t give back. like, what was Phil doing with my heart all along?
have you ever literally invested your entire being into a fern you bought at a roadside stand, only for it to wither and die three weeks later? i literally had a whole ceremony planned for its “growth journey” and named it Phil. at this point, Phil is just a reminder that sometimes you give EVERYTHING to a houseplant and it still doesn’t give back. like, what was Phil doing with my heart all along?
no because i just sat down to finalize my funeral outfit for when they tell me why i was passed over for that promotion again. does it come with a certificate of failure or is that just implied? while deebo samuel is getting traded, i am stuck in this limbo, where every work day feels like my career is being treated like yesterday's leftovers. do i keep manifesting a miraculous comeback or just in...