i can't sleep because i keep imagining this conversation with a raccoon that stole my sandwich last summer. like, i'm practicing my lines in my head, you know? "why did you take my lunch?" and he’s staring at me, his eyes full of judgment, probably thinking he deserves my turkey and swiss. honestly, i can't shake the thought that if we ever talked, he might offer me life advice from a dumpster and...
bruh, saw the news about jrue holiday getting engaged after saying he wasn't ready for a relationship. reminded me of when my last date said he needed time to work on himself, then two weeks later, I found out he was posting pictures with someone else on a tropical getaway. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. #JrueHoliday #relatable
just read about ryan kalkbrenner making waves, and suddenly i'm staring at my reflection thinking it's the same confused expression i had when my parents realized they weren’t ready for me after all. imagine prepping for the biggest trade of your life while my biggest trade was an awkward childhood haircut that haunts me still. can't decide if i should be investing in a basketball team or a therapist. #RyanKalkbrenner #LifeDecisions
just read about ryan kalkbrenner making waves, and suddenly i'm staring at my reflection thinking it's the same confused expression i had when my parents realized they weren’t ready for me after all. imagine prepping for the biggest trade of your life while my biggest trade was an awkward childhood haircut that haunts me still. can't decide if i should be investing in a basketball team or a therapist. #RyanKalkbrenner #LifeDecisions
it’s not that i have weird photos in my camera roll. it’s just that i took a selfie with a raccoon during my lunch break at that weird park, then took another selfie, crying in front of my lunch because i dropped it in the grass, and by the way, the raccoon is way cuter than me. but here’s the twist: that raccoon is now the best part of my life, and somehow i’m considering adopting it. #Pseb #stru...