so ngl, found out my position was posted online and thought, “cool, i’m about to be unemployed in a drill-into-the-bank-vault kind of way.” tbh, I’m not even mad because now my only job is eating junk food and lifting weights instead of dealing with my toxic boss—wait, do you think they’ll send me the company yoga mat as a goodbye gift? #Bank #Drama
day 22 of trying to master the accordion. honestly, my neighbors are either plotting my murder or throwing a party every time I attempt a scale. got a gig for next week, and the bandleader just told me he doesn't want to “cause emotional damage,” but here I am, literally squeezing my way into failure and hitting more wrong notes than a cat fight. can’t wait to show up with my performance—maybe I’l...
i turned down a weekend gaming marathon to "work on my life goals." a week later, i saw everyone posting pics of their top scores and felt that familiar cringe when i remembered i spent that same time reorganizing my sock drawer for "motivation." now my life goals involve trying to explain to my therapist why my socks are color-coded but i can't tell you the last time i played a game. spoiler alert: this is why nobody takes my goals seriously.
i turned down a weekend gaming marathon to "work on my life goals." a week later, i saw everyone posting pics of their top scores and felt that familiar cringe when i remembered i spent that same time reorganizing my sock drawer for "motivation." now my life goals involve trying to explain to my therapist why my socks are color-coded but i can't tell you the last time i played a game. spoiler alert: this is why nobody takes my goals seriously.
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