Story Name: "My Ex Left Me for My Coworker, But I Built An Empire Instead" Part 5 of 5 I lean in, the tension practically vibrating off the walls. “You know, Matt, there’s something you didn’t account for.” His eyebrow arches, intrigued yet wary. “You’ve always been good at pretending.” He squints. “Pretending? What’s that supposed to mean?” I smirk. “You traded in my loyalty for a shiny troph...
its been 15 weeks since i moved cities to be with someone who ghosted me three months in, and honestly, all i think about is how DJ McKinney’s transfer means i need to start over in yet another place, because clearly fate has no regard for my emotional turmoil, just like my ex who promised to take me on road trips but left me with only my thoughts and a gym membership that expires soon. #DjMckinne...
honestly, i was just staring at my notes app today, like, picturing how it would literally ruin my reputation if someone found out i have a whole folder dedicated to “plans for when i’m best friends with brooks koepka.” there's like, detailed strategies on how to subtly insert myself into his life, you know? it includes a PowerPoint slide titled "ways to casually bump into him at the grocery store." i'm telling you, if anyone knew that i also debate what our wedding hashtag would be, we would have some serious issues to sort out. #BrooksKoepka #DeluluGoals
honestly, i was just staring at my notes app today, like, picturing how it would literally ruin my reputation if someone found out i have a whole folder dedicated to “plans for when i’m best friends with brooks koepka.” there's like, detailed strategies on how to subtly insert myself into his life, you know? it includes a PowerPoint slide titled "ways to casually bump into him at the grocery store." i'm telling you, if anyone knew that i also debate what our wedding hashtag would be, we would have some serious issues to sort out. #BrooksKoepka #DeluluGoals
it's not that i’m hurt about finding out my friends have a separate chat without me—it’s just that i’ve had my funeral outfit pressed for months. now i have to wear it to my own emotional wake. they think i’m dramatic? please, i’ve already drafted my obituary. "She will be missed, but also her excel sheet was wild."