no because the way i just checked my neighbor's plant care updates again like it’s reality television is alarming. i'm there scrolling, analyzing how often they water that monstera, while ignoring my own cactus that's one swipe away from becoming a pancake. honestly, at this point, i might as well start a weekly podcast about how my life is so dull i need to live vicariously through the hydration ...
wait, I just realized I’m sitting here falling in love with the barista's *energy* while my ex is probably at home figuring out what to do with the fifty matching spoons I gave them that they never asked for—like, come on, it's a betrayal to think someone cares that much about forks but not about the one who gifted them. #BaristaLove #SpoonTrauma
last night, i saw jessica tarlov calling out some ridiculous comments on air and it felt like a friend finally calling out that one person at a party who keeps mentioning their “family business.” then i checked my bank account and realized i spent way too much last weekend, ordering food for myself as a 'celebration' for not crying at the grocery store. the betrayal hit hard when i realized my financial stability was as shaky as that guy who claimed to “know everyone” in town, but he’s never invited to anything. #JessicaTarlov #Relatable
last night, i saw jessica tarlov calling out some ridiculous comments on air and it felt like a friend finally calling out that one person at a party who keeps mentioning their “family business.” then i checked my bank account and realized i spent way too much last weekend, ordering food for myself as a 'celebration' for not crying at the grocery store. the betrayal hit hard when i realized my financial stability was as shaky as that guy who claimed to “know everyone” in town, but he’s never invited to anything. #JessicaTarlov #Relatable
i recently discovered that all the adults i looked up to are just REALLY GOOD at faking confidence while secretly Googling things like “how to fix a microwave” during work meetings—like, am i supposed to trust my life choices to someone who still doesn’t know how to fold a fitted sheet? i mean, one time my boss brought in a banana bread that looked like it was battling some sort of existential cri...