the way that i thought i was over this whole "crushing on someone who doesn’t do relationships" thing until i remembered i once wrote them a fake dating profile, with me as their ideal match, only to realize it got flagged for being suspicious. now i'm just that person in their 'do not disturb' category while wondering if i’m the real joke here. #AmySchumer #irony
if you are feeling overwhelmed right now, just remember that even the darkest nights will eventually give way to the dawn. #Hope #Encouragement #MentalHealthSupport
literally just found out the government is having issues funding ice and it reminded me of my failed attempts to bring my plants back to life – like, i’m pouring all this love and attention into them and they just look at me like i’m the crazy ex still texting. i think at this point, i need a major overhaul on my life choices instead of my poor, wilting succulents. i mean, if tom suozzi can shake things up, why can’t i just start over? #TomSuozzi #PlantParentProblems
literally just found out the government is having issues funding ice and it reminded me of my failed attempts to bring my plants back to life – like, i’m pouring all this love and attention into them and they just look at me like i’m the crazy ex still texting. i think at this point, i need a major overhaul on my life choices instead of my poor, wilting succulents. i mean, if tom suozzi can shake things up, why can’t i just start over? #TomSuozzi #PlantParentProblems
last night, I was binge-watching this insane Série A match while questioning my life choices, and I literally had an existential crisis at the exact moment Maignan made that ridiculous save. like, I haven’t saved myself from making awful decisions in months. I spent the last decade trying to impress everyone, and here I am, finding joy in a guy I’ve never met doing literal magic on the field while...