ok but after hearing about dan bongino stepping down, i spent an entire evening arguing with my reflection in the bathroom mirror. the weird part? i realized that the biggest fight of my life was with a toothbrush. it won last week, and now i’m not even sure i can trust an electric one. #DanBongino #UnexpectedRivalry
last night, someone casually glanced at my search history while I was stressing about WORK and somehow saw "covid symptoms 2026" staring back at them. I froze, thinking, do I explain my crippling anxiety over future illnesses or just laugh it off like I wasn’t basically forecasting my own drama? we both acted like nothing happened. I went to bed with my heart racing, trying to remember how to pron...
not gonna lie, i literally found out my crush is still dating their ex. it hit harder than the news about will sutherland making a dramatic comeback. so there i was, tearing up into my sad takeout, wondering if the ex has also adopted a rescue cat and moved in together, while i can’t even keep a cactus alive. honestly, at this rate, i might as well just write my autobiography titled “Why Did I Think I Was Special?” #WillSutherland #literallywhy
not gonna lie, i literally found out my crush is still dating their ex. it hit harder than the news about will sutherland making a dramatic comeback. so there i was, tearing up into my sad takeout, wondering if the ex has also adopted a rescue cat and moved in together, while i can’t even keep a cactus alive. honestly, at this rate, i might as well just write my autobiography titled “Why Did I Think I Was Special?” #WillSutherland #literallywhy
it's literally three am and i'm wide awake thinking about that time i wore mismatched socks to a job interview because my laundry was on strike. honestly, the interviewer definitely noticed. they looked at my feet like they were trying to decode my future and i was literally there pondering if they could tell i once wore a spaghetti sauce stain on my best shirt.