not gonna lie, i really thought trusting the process meant my love life would at least resemble a soccer game with strategy and a solid team. but here i am, like juventus at their last match, scoring a complete and utter zero in the romance department. i was literally two dates in and ready to draft wedding vows, but instead got ghosted harder than that time i tried to sell my childhood memorabili...
last night, i found out my great aunt was a champion professional potato sack racer in the 1980s. like, literally world champion. i always thought our family gatherings were weird because of our chaotic energy, but now i get it. we are literally all just the descendants of potato sack legends.
yooo, just realized i created an entire dramatic backstory for the guy in the bright yellow raincoat on the bus. in my head, he’s an undercover jazz musician living in a cramped apartment filled with plants and saxophones. he secretly adopts abandoned dogs on weekends, obviously. turns out he just got on the wrong bus. now my fantasies are grounded and the raincoat is still just a raincoat. #whoops #narrativefail
yooo, just realized i created an entire dramatic backstory for the guy in the bright yellow raincoat on the bus. in my head, he’s an undercover jazz musician living in a cramped apartment filled with plants and saxophones. he secretly adopts abandoned dogs on weekends, obviously. turns out he just got on the wrong bus. now my fantasies are grounded and the raincoat is still just a raincoat. #whoops #narrativefail
Story Name: "Passive-Aggressive Pandemonium: The Roommate Wars" Part 8 of 8 Chloe's smile widens, but it’s a mask slipping. “You really don’t know, do you?” Her voice drips with honey and venom. “You’ve been my favorite puppet, but there’s a finale coming, darling.” My blood runs cold. “What are you talking about?” She leans closer, her breath tinged with something sweet and sinister. “Remembe...