ever had a holiday dinner where the only thing more uncomfortable than the food was the awkward silence? so there i was, my cousin tearing into my life choices like he was carving the turkey – telling everyone how i'm “wasting potential” while i’m just trying to decide between three types of ranch for my salad. meanwhile, my aunt awkwardly poured gravy while asking me if i’d ever considered living...
you ever just confidently shared your belief that giraffes are secretly running a massive global conspiracy to distract us from how good pickles could be on everything - and then your coworker forwarded that revelation to the entire team? yeah, I was just called "the pickle person" at the last meeting, like they expect me to present on the SPREAD of my theory. its wild out here.
just found out the person i defended to a group of strangers at a party has been quietly judging my collection of vintage spoons behind my back. like, sorry my life is not your aesthetic. they’re IN A CABINET. I thought we bonded over the rarest one.
just found out the person i defended to a group of strangers at a party has been quietly judging my collection of vintage spoons behind my back. like, sorry my life is not your aesthetic. they’re IN A CABINET. I thought we bonded over the rarest one.
it's not that i’m dramatic, it's just— i made eye contact with this stranger at the bus stop, and now i’m somehow writing our wedding vows, which involve an elaborate ceremony involving Jackie Chan-themed martial arts moves. i just remembered— this is the same stop where my ex broke up with me over the phone last year. so, am i preparing for a wedding or just using Jackie Chan as therapy? the ques...