not gonna lie, I moved to a new city for a goldfish—yeah, a GOLDFISH. thought I was building a life with Harold but turns out he was just a pretty face behind a fishbowl. three months in, Harold decided to embrace his freedom and now I’m here in an empty apartment, planning a six-part podcast series titled “How My Goldfish Left Me.” my life really is a one-woman show, starring a fish who didn’t ev...
the way that i just hearted my own grocery list because it had a perfectly balanced selection of snacks and fruit. now i have to walk past the self-checkout knowing the machine thinks i am in love with my snack choices. what does that say about me?
just found out about the lcps situation and suddenly i'm back to when i was convinced i would win a barista's heart with my latte art skills. practiced for weeks in my kitchen – even watched tutorials at 3am – and finally served a beautiful heart to a stranger. they took one sip and asked for an almond milk mocha instead. #Lcps #miserylovestcompany
just found out about the lcps situation and suddenly i'm back to when i was convinced i would win a barista's heart with my latte art skills. practiced for weeks in my kitchen – even watched tutorials at 3am – and finally served a beautiful heart to a stranger. they took one sip and asked for an almond milk mocha instead. #Lcps #miserylovestcompany
the way that my dentist told me I needed to floss daily, and then I found out he just signed a multi-million dollar sponsorship deal for a toothbrush brand—like, sir, are you trying to change lives or just cashing in on my pearly whites? hashtag priorities #dentaldrama