it's not that i care, it's just—after crafting a detailed breakup text that could've won an Oscar, they replied with an ‘ok’ while i'm here still comparing the emotional depth of my letter to Pep Guardiola's dilemma with Erling Haaland. like, how am i supposed to recover from this? can one text set me back as much as Haaland's dry spell? i need answers, and no one's replying. #ErlingHaaland #feels...
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the way that i literally spent an entire hour composing an elaborate defense for my unintentional whistle-blowing at last month’s team outing, all to explain my clever diversion with a pool noodle, only for my manager to schedule a “quick chat” on friday at 4pm for a totally unrelated topic about project timelines. i might have made the elaborate whistle-pun hoodie just to get caught in my own unhinged antics.
the way that i literally spent an entire hour composing an elaborate defense for my unintentional whistle-blowing at last month’s team outing, all to explain my clever diversion with a pool noodle, only for my manager to schedule a “quick chat” on friday at 4pm for a totally unrelated topic about project timelines. i might have made the elaborate whistle-pun hoodie just to get caught in my own unhinged antics.
it's not that i am panicking, it's just that i checked my bank account after this weekend, and somehow, it’s looking like an F1 pit stop, quick and empty. so, i was inspired by this Audi F1 hype, thinking i could turn my life around and manifest some inner speed racer magic. but let me tell you, when you realize your savings are a thrilling zero to sixty in two seconds flat, all you can do is lie ...