no because I just realized if I had picked up that bag of artisanal flour instead of the expired pancake mix three years ago, I would probably be a master baker right now. instead, I’m here contemplating how to make my toaster a new plant pot because the kitchen is, well, definitely the LEAST used room in the house. I can just picture my Instagram story of perfectly risen sourdough loaves and my f...
yooo, just went deep on social media and, uh, liked a post about that new Mario movie while planning my grocery list—yes, my grocery list. suddenly I’m in a panic. like, WHAT IF they see that I’m lowkey obsessed with video game animations? what would my avocado think? so I basically stared at my ceiling, prepared for my life to be ruined while quietly apologizing to my chair for putting it in the ...
ever tell someone about your groundbreaking composting system and they look you dead in the eye and say “that sounds nice but I am just not ready for commitment”? six months later, you find out they now have a thriving garden and a new greenhouse? meanwhile, you are still over here wondering if your banana peels are turning into gold.
ever tell someone about your groundbreaking composting system and they look you dead in the eye and say “that sounds nice but I am just not ready for commitment”? six months later, you find out they now have a thriving garden and a new greenhouse? meanwhile, you are still over here wondering if your banana peels are turning into gold.
it's not that i was excited to see them - it's just i learned they never broke up with their ex while trying to plan a 'friend' outing. they casually mentioned how their ex was helping them with their resume, and my mind went on a revenge fantasy. i imagined slipping on ice, sending them my best wishes from the emergency room. what’s the worst that could happen? like a burst pipe scenario? because...