just saw the stock market news today and it hit a little too close to home. last week, i turned down an opportunity to invest in a startup that makes edible glitter because i thought it was a dumb idea. my neighbor just made a million dollars off it. now i’m sitting here staring at my pantry, contemplating turning my cereal into a sparkly trend… is it too late? #StockMarketNewsToday #edibleglitter
literally just spent my lunch break thinking about how Beatriz deleted her profile and how that must feel—like stepping off a stage no one asked you to be on. meanwhile, my boss just compared our team to family before telling us we wouldn't see any raises. and like, great, my actual family knows how to throw shade. maybe i should follow Beatriz's lead and ghost the office. #Beatriz #familydrama
i just realized that all the adults were just pretending to know what they’re doing—like, when did someone hand out the guidebook? there was this moment in the grocery store where a guy argued with the self-checkout like it was a living being. i thought about asking for tips, but then he accidentally scanned a cucumber twice—now i’m wondering if i can trust anyone... #adulting #trustissues
i just realized that all the adults were just pretending to know what they’re doing—like, when did someone hand out the guidebook? there was this moment in the grocery store where a guy argued with the self-checkout like it was a living being. i thought about asking for tips, but then he accidentally scanned a cucumber twice—now i’m wondering if i can trust anyone... #adulting #trustissues
wait, so Ugo Humbert is trending and here I am, re-evaluating my life choices. just last week, I named a hypothetical future dog with a guy I met ONCE at a coffee shop. we chatted about tennis for like, five minutes, and now I’m in my head building a whole LIFE together for this fictional pet. it’s a beagle named “Humbert” and honestly, my current situation feels way more dramatic than the quarter...