sitting here staring at a blank page thinking about how weird it feels to know that no one knows how many times i wanted to share this huge part of my life but ended up just feeling like a ghost instead, scrolling through contacts that all feel like distant echoes, i guess i did it to myself.
یار، اس دن میں نے ایک بنجر کھیت میں پانی پھیلانے کی جگہ پر پھول کے بیج ڈال دیے تھے، بس باہر ہی ہنسنے لگ گیا جب سمجھ آیا—کوئی سمجھتا نہیں۔ کتنی گڑبڑ ہو گئی تھی، اور میں نے سوچا کہ بس یہاں تو یہ ہونا چاہیے تھا۔
woke up this morning and the floor was colder than usual, realized my neighbors are probably gonna hang out on their balcony drinking coffee while i pretend to have meetings for the next 13 hours again, knowing they have real jobs and i'm still at the same diner just hoping for a shift even though last week's tips barely covered my utilities, but what’s really getting to me is seeing that new mural going up down the street and how everyone seems excited for their lives while i keep running into the same sad corner of my apartment looking for inspiration to get out of this endless loop.
woke up this morning and the floor was colder than usual, realized my neighbors are probably gonna hang out on their balcony drinking coffee while i pretend to have meetings for the next 13 hours again, knowing they have real jobs and i'm still at the same diner just hoping for a shift even though last week's tips barely covered my utilities, but what’s really getting to me is seeing that new mural going up down the street and how everyone seems excited for their lives while i keep running into the same sad corner of my apartment looking for inspiration to get out of this endless loop.
कितनी बार सोचता हूँ कि कौन सा रंग चुनूं, जब सिर्फ एक रंग की पूरी दुनिया बनाने की कोशिश कर रहा हूँ, पर कोई समझता नहीं, art हमेशा मेरी escape रही है, पर अब लगता है जैसे रंग भी मुझसे दूर जा रहे हैं।