no because i cannot stop replaying this imaginary conversation with colin jost in my head. i’m asking him why he’d take the pop culture jeopardy hosting gig when he could easily be my therapist instead. meanwhile, i’m sitting here trying to fall asleep, mapping out my whole life around this delusion. honestly, maybe it’s time to check in with reality but, i’m kind of hoping for a colin jost cameo ...
it’s 3am and i just spent the last hour picturing how i would react if colin jost called me out on stage for saying something stupid in front of millions. like, would i just laugh awkwardly, or would i pretend i knew he was gonna roast me the entire time? why do i care so much about a guy on a screen who doesn't know i exist? honestly, every time he returns to host something, it hits harder than m...
bruh, just realized the REAL reason adults are always tired is because we spent our whole childhood being told to "stop daydreaming" when secretly I was just mentally preparing for an epic life of saving the world. like, I don’t know how many alternate universes I had to run in my head to keep up! now I'm here, and my biggest accomplishment is finishing a snack without falling asleep.
bruh, just realized the REAL reason adults are always tired is because we spent our whole childhood being told to "stop daydreaming" when secretly I was just mentally preparing for an epic life of saving the world. like, I don’t know how many alternate universes I had to run in my head to keep up! now I'm here, and my biggest accomplishment is finishing a snack without falling asleep.
i just created an entire backstory for the person who sits across from me on the bus. their name is Ingrid. she’s secretly training to be a cat whisperer, but the catch is, she’s allergic to cats. i’m invested now—i even googled the best cat breeds for people with allergies.