day 14 of pretending to be okay with my friend group split. i walked into the coffee shop thinking i’d find solace, only to see my ex sitting with my new best friend, sharing a latte. the barista smiled and asked if i wanted my usual. i said yes, then realized i forgot my wallet... and somehow i’m still not the biggest fool in the room.
it's not that i don't have friends, it's just that nobody really knows me anymore. like, i can recite every line of a favorite childhood movie, but when was the last time someone asked me what makes me happy? the other day, i sat alone at a party scrolling through my phone, surrounded by people, but i still felt like the only person not laughing. my mom called asking about my new hobby, and i lied...
last night, I went down this rabbit hole of my old vinyl records, thinking I’d feel nostalgia or something. instead, I realized I have more dust on the covers than memories to make. it's like, I have this huge collection that feels more like a reminder of who I was when I thought I’d be out dancing every weekend, instead of just... here, on my couch, wondering if I should even bother... but hey, the art is pretty, right?
last night, I went down this rabbit hole of my old vinyl records, thinking I’d feel nostalgia or something. instead, I realized I have more dust on the covers than memories to make. it's like, I have this huge collection that feels more like a reminder of who I was when I thought I’d be out dancing every weekend, instead of just... here, on my couch, wondering if I should even bother... but hey, the art is pretty, right?
day 47 of staring at my bookshelf, realizing i’ve read more romances than i’ve lived. it's 3 a.m. and all i can think about is how i built my identity around someone who vanished like a forgotten bookmark. now everyone else is cozying up to love stories while i’m here, memorizing the plots of novels, wishing the characters would finally get a grip on what it feels like to be alone but still whole.