i keep checking my phone like someone is going to send me something life-changing, like a message that will explain why i keep spiraling in this endless loop of waiting for something to finally matter and it just... does not, like when did my whole life turn into this waiting game, and why am i still doing it, still here, just waiting.
today was supposed to be just another boring day at work but i found out my whole life, like my whole life was built on a LIE and now every little thing feels like a scam, like the time wasted commuting feels even more pointless now, just endless cycles of work and stress that led to nothing, nothing at all
i still remember the smell of that one old book in the corner of my room—the way it faded—now i just lay in this same spot on my bed, scrolling through other people's milestones like it means nothing that i’m stuck watching paint peel on the ceiling while everyone else moves on, posting pictures of vacations and new jobs, and my heart sinks deeper each time my phone buzzes with a reminder of what i lost so long ago.
i still remember the smell of that one old book in the corner of my room—the way it faded—now i just lay in this same spot on my bed, scrolling through other people's milestones like it means nothing that i’m stuck watching paint peel on the ceiling while everyone else moves on, posting pictures of vacations and new jobs, and my heart sinks deeper each time my phone buzzes with a reminder of what i lost so long ago.
so i was at this random coffee shop and trying to be cool, right, and i ordered a double shot of espresso but somehow ended up yelling "give me all the caffeine!" in front of this entire line of people, and they just stared at me while i tried to play it off but my face was so red and like now every time i go back, i see those same people and have to pretend i’m just there for a casual mocha or wh...