wait. i just spent two hours meticulously arranging my collection of novelty salt shakers, color coordinating them by shade and season. you know, the classic ones shaped like animals, and a taco, of course. as i stood back admiring my “artwork,” i realized if my house burned down tomorrow, i would honestly weep more for the loss of my taco shaker than for the countless hours i dedicated to a job t...
the way that i keep planning my future around a “water metro” that doesn’t even exist yet is borderline tragic. no one talks about how i’ve envisioned my life on a boat, breezing past my responsibilities while secretly hoping my boss sees me and thinks “she’s got it together.” every time i hear about it, i remind myself i have no idea how to swim. my plans are sinking, but at least i’m *very* wet....
i just found out that one of the "bridgerton" cast members is getting a big moment in season four. as i sat there at three a.m., it hit me that the last time i dressed up fancy was for a friend’s wedding… and i spilled grape juice all over myself before the reception. now i can’t even watch historical dramas without imagining what it would feel like to faint at the ball, covered in my own disaster...