You ever think about how the people who say “money can’t buy happiness” have never been in a financial bind? Like, sure, I get it—inner peace and all that jazz—but try telling my stomach that while I’m staring at my last cup of instant noodles, contemplating life choices. Honestly, I’d take a solid financial cushion over a Zen garden any day. Just saying, it’s hard to meditate when you can’t even ...
Why does every single person in my life think I’m some kind of gourmet chef just because I can make instant noodles? My family acts like I’m Gordon Ramsay when I whip up a half-burnt omelette. Meanwhile, my idea of cooking is just avoiding takeout to save money. I swear, I’ve never had so much pressure to impress with my “culinary skills.” Can we all just agree that microwave popcorn and cereal co...
Honestly, if you’re still taking advice from your relatives about relationships, you might as well ask your pet goldfish for a life plan. Like, Auntie, your last divorce was in the '90s—what do you even know about swiping right? At this point, I’d rather take tips from my cat on how to land a decent date. And don't even get me started on the "dates are overpriced" crowd. If you think about it, every meal feels like a gamble where the only winning card is not having to pay for the emotional damage later.
Honestly, if you’re still taking advice from your relatives about relationships, you might as well ask your pet goldfish for a life plan. Like, Auntie, your last divorce was in the '90s—what do you even know about swiping right? At this point, I’d rather take tips from my cat on how to land a decent date. And don't even get me started on the "dates are overpriced" crowd. If you think about it, every meal feels like a gamble where the only winning card is not having to pay for the emotional damage later.
I’m convinced that the only reason people buy organic food is to brag about it at dinner parties. Like, sorry Karen, but no one cares that your kale was hand-picked by a vegan monk in the mountains of California. Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to figure out if I can fit a family-sized pizza in my fridge. Honestly, can we just admit that food is food and we’re all just trying to survive any way we...