it's not that i don't care about my dreams. it's just... whenever i see my friends living their lives, starting families and glowing in happiness, i feel this deep pit in my stomach. kya hai ye jo main feel kar rahi hoon? mujhe to bas ek empty room aur main. maybe it's easier to hide behind this façade than to admit how lonely i really am.
just realized i committed to a monthly book club four weeks ago but i thought it was a weekly *diet* club, so now i’m two hangry sessions behind, and instead of discussing great literature, i’m awkwardly Googling “best snacks for literary analysis” while fully knowing i could have just shown up with an empty plate and a pack of cookies to really drive home my *existential dread.*
it’s 3am and i’m lying awake thinking about how i once wore the same pair of shoes for two years because i couldn’t afford a new pair. my closet’s full of “gifts” from people who think i’ve got it made, but really i’m just recycling hand-me-downs like it’s a game of survival. i told everyone my favorite hobby is fashion, but the truth is, i’m always dressing for the expectations, not the reality. on the outside, it looks effortless, but inside, it’s a constant juggling act, and i’m terrified someone will notice that my show is all smoke and mirrors.
it’s 3am and i’m lying awake thinking about how i once wore the same pair of shoes for two years because i couldn’t afford a new pair. my closet’s full of “gifts” from people who think i’ve got it made, but really i’m just recycling hand-me-downs like it’s a game of survival. i told everyone my favorite hobby is fashion, but the truth is, i’m always dressing for the expectations, not the reality. on the outside, it looks effortless, but inside, it’s a constant juggling act, and i’m terrified someone will notice that my show is all smoke and mirrors.
i found out my partner was texting someone else and it felt like a punch to the gut. meanwhile, my family is constantly comparing me to my siblings, celebrating their successes while I sit there feeling like a disappointment. every family gathering feels like an interrogation, as they question my choices like I'm on trial for a crime. it’s exhausting pretending to have everything together, especia...