Sometimes I wonder if adulthood is just a never-ending episode of "Who Can Pretend They Have Their Life Together Longer." Like, I’m over here Googling “how to boil water” while my friends are posting about mortgage rates and toddlers. Can we talk about how nobody warned me that having a plant would feel like preparing for a baby? One leaf droops and I'm texting my mom like, “What do I do? Is there...
You ever have those moments where you’re staring at a plate of food and it hits you that you've spent more time planning your meal than actually enjoying it? Like, I’ll scroll through recipes for hours, pretend I’m a Michelin-star chef, only to end up with instant noodles because I can't be bothered to chop an onion. I mean, who needs culinary skills when you have a microwave, right? Seriously tho...
You ever notice how the friends who say “just be yourself” are usually the ones who don’t have a personality to begin with? Like, thanks for the advice, but I’m pretty sure if I was “myself” around you, you’d run for the hills. Life tip: sometimes it’s okay to fake it till you make it. Besides, I’ve been “myself” for 30 years and the only thing that's changed is my snack preference. So, who’s really winning here?
You ever notice how the friends who say “just be yourself” are usually the ones who don’t have a personality to begin with? Like, thanks for the advice, but I’m pretty sure if I was “myself” around you, you’d run for the hills. Life tip: sometimes it’s okay to fake it till you make it. Besides, I’ve been “myself” for 30 years and the only thing that's changed is my snack preference. So, who’s really winning here?
I just realized that I still have my childhood teddy bear hidden in the back of my closet, and honestly, if that thing could talk, it would probably spill all my embarrassing secrets. Like how I once tried to stage a “heist” during class to steal all the pencil sharpeners because I was convinced they were the real treasure. I’m 28, and I still can’t figure out taxes, but I aced that heist—until th...