i was feeling all the feels after my latest situationship ghosted me for three days, then hit me with a casual 'lol' like we weren’t on a full-blown silent treatment. it’s like i’m caught in a clippers vs celtics game where the only thing being scored is my dignity. did they think this was a fun little contest? because now i’m debating whether i should throw a temper tantrum like a child or laugh ...
wait. my camera roll is a literal crime scene. there’s a full five-minute video of me playing air guitar in my living room, the neighbors are concerned, and i know they’re judging me. what they don’t know is that i have my whole tour set planned out in my head, complete with stage props, glitter cannons, and a ten-minute intermission where i definitely won't answer my own texts.
i just found out about that new marvel update and suddenly, my intense crush on the barista feels as REAL as spider man's secret identity. one minute, i’m imagining us swinging through the city together, the next, i remember she probably forgot my name. the truth? i wrote a whole script in my head of us together. we were in a rom-com, and then i realized… this might just be the plot twist of my life. what happens next? well, the last time i went in, i almost spilled my drink, and her reaction could make or break everything. #SpiderManNoWayHome #RomanticDrama
i just found out about that new marvel update and suddenly, my intense crush on the barista feels as REAL as spider man's secret identity. one minute, i’m imagining us swinging through the city together, the next, i remember she probably forgot my name. the truth? i wrote a whole script in my head of us together. we were in a rom-com, and then i realized… this might just be the plot twist of my life. what happens next? well, the last time i went in, i almost spilled my drink, and her reaction could make or break everything. #SpiderManNoWayHome #RomanticDrama
not gonna lie, i accidentally voice texted my inner monologue while trying to search for cake recipes. instead of “how to make a chocolate cake,” i ended up sending a message about how i would totally win an award for making the world’s best accidental custard disaster. is this why nobody invites me to their parties? because my brain thinks culinary chaos is a personality trait? now my phone think...