why does my ‘best friend’ only text when they need to borrow a dress for a funeral they are *not* invited to? honestly, I’m starting to think my collection of black outfits is her personal wardrobe. maybe I should start charging rent because at this point, she’s about to set up a memorial in my closet.
it's not that i’m jealous. it's just... every time i see them eating a new type of vegan cheese with that person they need space from, i wonder if they even like almond cheese. do they realize how weird it is to post a picture of a charcuterie board featuring only colors that clash? i just… don’t understand. like, where did that idea even come from?
i just realized my side hustle of knitting tiny sweaters for garden gnomes is paying for my main job's office snacks now. my coworkers think i'm weirdly generous when in reality i just want a lifetime supply of trail mix. who knew gnome fashion could fund my snack cravings? #unexpectedhustle #gnomestyle
i just realized my side hustle of knitting tiny sweaters for garden gnomes is paying for my main job's office snacks now. my coworkers think i'm weirdly generous when in reality i just want a lifetime supply of trail mix. who knew gnome fashion could fund my snack cravings? #unexpectedhustle #gnomestyle
so there i was, rehearsing what i should have said to the guy at the gardening store for the last three weeks. i could have told him my azaleas were more dependable than my last three boyfriends, right? but then, just last night, he started following me on a random website about vintage lawn gnomes. like, he is now attached to my internet existence and all i wanted was to argue about shrubbery. gu...