so i'm minding my own business when i scroll through linkedin and see that my position was posted. posted! like a garage sale sign in a neighborhood nobody wants to live in. do they think i'm just going to shrug it off? no. i'm crafting an elaborate conspiracy theory where my coworkers plot against me, eating muffins while laughing at my downfall like it's a movie night. like, how do you casually ...
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it's not that i was stalking their social media. it's just that i needed to know if their taste in cereal is better than mine. so there i was, half-past midnight, analyzing their breakfast choices like it was a top-secret mission, while questioning my entire life’s purpose because they only eat oat bran. how could someone look so stylish while munching on fiber? what do i even do now?
it's not that i was stalking their social media. it's just that i needed to know if their taste in cereal is better than mine. so there i was, half-past midnight, analyzing their breakfast choices like it was a top-secret mission, while questioning my entire life’s purpose because they only eat oat bran. how could someone look so stylish while munching on fiber? what do i even do now?
literally just got voluntold to host a weekend "mindfulness retreat" for my entire extended family. honestly, I have no idea what that even means. I think it involves awkward silence and uncomfortably long hugs with my aunt who brings her emotional support llama. you best believe I am spending the entire time Googling "how to Zen while internally screaming." #FamilyFunctions #ZenModeFail