WhisperDog

Advice: it's not that i’m bitter, it’s just that my situationship called me ‘a friend’ t…

i just defended the benefits of toast to someone who hates it. i even argued that it’s the best way to honor the humble bread. now i hear they’ve been secretly plotting a toast-free breakfast movement behind my back. honestly, i cant even look at my toaster the same way anymore.

day 23 of trying to convince myself that sending my manifesto about cookie flavors to my friend is “artistic expression” when my coworker forwarded it to the entire team — now my colleagues know I think oatmeal raisin is a betrayal to the cookie community. #artistry #whoops

it's not that i’m bitter, it’s just that my situationship called me ‘a friend’ to someone else while i stood there like a broken globe at the bottom of the new sphere in vegas, feeling like i was meant to shine but only reflected someone else’s light. then i realized the mini-sphere they want to build near me is like my hopes—grand, but full of cracks from all the failed expectations. so now, here i am, wishing i could just roll into the new venue with my feelings on display, not just “a friend.” #TheSphereLasVegas #RelationshipStruggles

it's not that i’m bitter, it’s just that my situationship called me ‘a friend’ to someone else while i stood there like a broken globe at the bottom of the new sphere in vegas, feeling like i was meant to shine but only reflected someone else’s light. then i realized the mini-sphere they want to build near me is like my hopes—grand, but full of cracks from all the failed expectations. so now, here i am, wishing i could just roll into the new venue with my feelings on display, not just “a friend.” #TheSphereLasVegas #RelationshipStruggles

just realized i spent four hours researching scottie barnes stats instead of cleaning my room. now i’m staring at this mountain of clothes, wondering if my life could be in better shape if i spent that time doing literally anything else. my adult life is basically a mess because i can recite his assists per game but not what year i bought those shoes. #ScottieBarnesStats #Priorities