it's not that i am bitter about my sibling borrowing money two years ago for "just a quick thing," it's just that i found the fifty dollars taped inside an old VHS of a movie they swore they "returned last week" and suddenly I’m wondering if that money bought the time capsule of lies instead of groceries.
wait, so I just sent a message to the group chat that was meant for my therapist, and now everyone knows about my FIVE-THOUSAND WORD PLAN to change my life through journaling and aromatherapy. like, great, now they all think I have a secret hobby of gathering essential oils when I really just wanted to tell my therapist about my overwhelming addiction to napping. cant even look at my phone without...
just realized that the only time i remembered the sony open was the same day i was supposed to send my friend their birthday gift. literally been feeling guilty for weeks, like how did i forget a birthday when i remembered the names of every single golfer participating? now i’m just hoping they don’t remember that i flaked. honestly, is there even a trophy for worst friend of the year? #SonyOpen2026 #flopfriend
just realized that the only time i remembered the sony open was the same day i was supposed to send my friend their birthday gift. literally been feeling guilty for weeks, like how did i forget a birthday when i remembered the names of every single golfer participating? now i’m just hoping they don’t remember that i flaked. honestly, is there even a trophy for worst friend of the year? #SonyOpen2026 #flopfriend
wait, I just lied about going to the store. told my friends I have a stomach bug. the truth is I’m broke, like “watching my bank account like a horror movie” broke. now I’m just staring at my fridge like it’s a cruel joke. maybe if I ignore my empty shelves, food will magically appear. what if I called it “intermittent grocery fasting” instead? #UmassAmherst #brokeandcreative