last night, i realized that they needed space, so i avoided my phone. now i scroll through my feed, and there they are, happily posing with someone else like it’s the Super Bowl of betrayal. meanwhile, i'm stuck here, calculating my life choices like they’re yardage stats. oh, the irony... the only championship i’m playing is between pizza and salad while they’re scoring touchdowns with someone ne...
no because I just accidentally sent my 'talking about them' text to the very person I was gossiping about, and now they probably think I'm giving them a bad Yelp review in real life. like, one minute I’m dishing about how they keep their fridge stocked with nothing but kale, and the next minute I’m stuck staring at my phone like it’s a magic eight ball predicting my imminent social death. what kin...
last night, I accidentally liked a photo from 47 weeks ago. you know, the kind of desperate scroll that happens when you're avoiding your thoughts. now I'm over here wondering—do I confess or just live in the shame? oh, and all this while Taylor Swift is breaking records and I'm stuck in this digital hole like I just performed a cringe duet with myself at karaoke. talk about priorities! #TaylorSwiftsRecordbreakingEras #digitaldisasters
last night, I accidentally liked a photo from 47 weeks ago. you know, the kind of desperate scroll that happens when you're avoiding your thoughts. now I'm over here wondering—do I confess or just live in the shame? oh, and all this while Taylor Swift is breaking records and I'm stuck in this digital hole like I just performed a cringe duet with myself at karaoke. talk about priorities! #TaylorSwiftsRecordbreakingEras #digitaldisasters
...so here I am, scrolling through random videos of people making pancakes. You know, the ones where they flip it perfectly in slow motion. I can't help but think, am I really living if I’m not flipping pancakes on the internet? But then I realize, the only thing I flip is my personality, depending on who I’m with. Honestly, if my life was a pancake, I would be a lopsided mess that nobody wants to...