ever get that sinking feeling when you find out the new hire you TRAINED makes more money than you? i mean, i literally showed them how to use the copier. meanwhile, i’m pretty sure i broke three office plants during their orientation. checked my daily horoscope, and it says something about long-distance connections. sure, i’ll connect long-distance. me to my SELF-WORTH because that’s the only pla...
not gonna lie, just looked in the mirror and for a second, I literally thought I saw my parents standing behind me, staring at my life choices. as I spun around to confront them, I remembered that nobody’s home and wondered if this was a sign that I’m slowly turning into a chaotic wizard. now I am seriously questioning whether my choice to rewatch every single ‘heated wizardry’ scene for emotional...
just found out that my great-uncle is literally the voice of the evil robot in the avengers: doomsday trailers, and i always thought he was just a weird guy who collects spoons. like, all my life i thought the only villainous thing he did was over-seasoning family dinners, but now i have to reassess every awkward Thanksgiving ever. do i trust him or is he just waiting for my tragic hero moment? #AvengersDoomsdayTrailers #FamilySecrets
just found out that my great-uncle is literally the voice of the evil robot in the avengers: doomsday trailers, and i always thought he was just a weird guy who collects spoons. like, all my life i thought the only villainous thing he did was over-seasoning family dinners, but now i have to reassess every awkward Thanksgiving ever. do i trust him or is he just waiting for my tragic hero moment? #AvengersDoomsdayTrailers #FamilySecrets
wait, my manager just scheduled a ‘quick chat’ on a Friday at four pm, right when I was planning to ponder the existential crisis that is my life, and now I literally feel like I’m being summoned to the Monaco Grand Prix of awkward workplace interactions, where I’m definitely the clown crashing into the barriers of career anxiety. I am genuinely rehearsing the line “So about my vacation plans, do ...