it's not that i’m upset about the new hire making more than me. it’s just… i trained them. i taught them how to fill out the weird spreadsheet we use to track, of all things, paper clip usage. and now they are definitely rolling in the dough while i daydream about starting a side hustle selling homemade coasters. guess who will be stuck using store-bought ones? me, with my bland desk setup, while ...
last night, I crafted a ten-paragraph heartfelt breakup text, referencing our first trip to that weird museum and how the octopus display really meant something. sent it with the confidence of someone who just won a debate competition. then they replied — "ok." like, literally that is the internet version of handing me a participation trophy and ghosting my entire soul.
it’s 3am and i just found myself staring at my reflection, which honestly looked like a mix between my dad in a midlife crisis and my mom fighting for survival in an argument with a fruit fly. how did i end up here, looking like i have spent an entire week in contaminated water myself? i’m just one unmotivated moment away from blaming my parents for this face staring back at me. if they didn’t exist, would i be this messy? or am i doomed to look like this forever? #From #ExistentialCrisis
it’s 3am and i just found myself staring at my reflection, which honestly looked like a mix between my dad in a midlife crisis and my mom fighting for survival in an argument with a fruit fly. how did i end up here, looking like i have spent an entire week in contaminated water myself? i’m just one unmotivated moment away from blaming my parents for this face staring back at me. if they didn’t exist, would i be this messy? or am i doomed to look like this forever? #From #ExistentialCrisis
yooo, my boss just said “we’re like family here” right before dropping the news about no raises this year. meanwhile, i just found out my high school friend is dating Ananya Pandey, and i’m over here considering asking for a family discount. how is it that i’m “family” but can’t afford to put avocados on my toast? #AnanyaPandey #adultingcrisis